The day is upon us, as those adorable Olsen Twins finally turn legal this weekend with the arrival of their 18th birthday.
What better way to celebrate than with the unveiling of the twins senior year high school photos, above (though witz.org is still unsure which one is Mary-Kate, and which is Ashley).
Congrats on matriculating joining the adult world, Olsens!
(Photos courtesy Ultragrrrl)
UPDATE: Welcome Farkers (fark.com) and Defamers (defamer.com). As my bandwidth slowly dies, witz.org salutes you….
This entry was written by , posted on June 11, 2004 at 12:02 PM, filed under Whatever. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.
They matriculated the day they enroled. If you want to congratulate them for graduating, then do so. Try to avoid sounding like a pretentious idiot.
Blonds are more fun, but the top one looks like a heroin addict….which to choose?
Hahahah Literate person misspelled “enroled”. Bad form for a snooty grammar nazi ;)
I think the twins are super hot but I thought they would have had better senior pictures. The pics doen’t do them justice!!
Wow. Matriculating. You am smart.
I can practically guarantee that http://www.xenex.org/olzentwinz will be bursting with “creative interpretations” of the twins the MOMENT they turn 18.
Makes me want to be the olive-loaf in an Olsen twins sandwich! OH, Yeah! Giggidy giggidy giggidy!
As defined by dictionary.com:
“matriculated” : To admit or be admitted into a group, especially a college or university.
I think he was using more of the general sense of matriculation here. This has nothing to do with graduation, or school, or anything of that nature. The Olsen twins are matriculating into the society of consenting adults. They’re old enough to “tap” now, that’s all he’s saying.
Great job on being on being both a dick head, and a grammer nazi at the same time. You only made yourself look like an ass, and pointed out to everyone that you lack a sense of humor, and are unable to crawl out from behind your high school english book.
Literate Person: matriculation into adulthood. If you want to let someone know they’re wrong, make sure you’re right first. Try to avoid sounding like a flurking schnithead.
you are about to be FARKED.
Maybe he meant matriculating into the pool of 18 year olds, since their birthday is coming up?
“Literate person” is probably speaking non-American English on a regular basis, or pretending to, anyway.
(Which is weird because Brits and Aussies and the rest of the English-speaking world save merkins are usually the ones with the second “l” – “travelling,” “dialling”, etc. – but “enrol” instead of “enroll” is plain proof of the willy-nillyness of it all.)
Er, anyway, yes, back to the last shining moments of the jailbait… gaolbait… gaollbait?
PREPARE TO BE FARKED!!!
Makes me want to drink myself into seeing double, so I can have four of them! OH, Yeah! Giggidy giggidy giggidy!
Makes me wish I was a bicycle built for two. OH, Yeah! Giggidy giggidy giggidy!
I think the top one, the heroin addict too skinny one, is Mary Kate. Ashley is the sorta hot in a barbie’s cousin skipper doll kinda way one.
/yes i’d hit them both
I’m so lonely.
umm, they look like their twelve. Besides, Stamos hit that a long time ago.
(deleted)
Rick the Dick: You wouldn’t be suggesting that a “long time ago” is during the Full House era, would you? Sicko. :)
I’d fap it! Then Hit It!!
Many kittens will die today!
On the way to fark-dom
I would skewer both of them.
Now that they are “of age”, does this mean they will finally stop making those crappy movies and start looking for REAL acting careers?
My name is Buck…
Something really creepy about these two. Like they’re the product of abnormal everything. And the one on the bottom is rocking the glam-metal pout. Creepy.
Man, i would hit both those girls until my pelvis caved.
I don’t recommend matriculating too often, you’ll go blind.
18, fun
no talent
funny looking
nothing to see here
move along
you’ve been farked, prepare for bandwidth death
You are farked, yo!
Hola, Literate Person. I won’t pretend to be particularly gifted with the English language, but perhaps you could descend from the high throne long enough to do one of the following:
A.) Read Webster’s
B.) Learn touch-typing
C.) Invoke the all powerful ‘Spelling Checker.’
What is enroled, exactly ?
I can’t pick out which one I’d like to make air tight, the heroin addict or the prostitute.
I yearn for the day when I can read about blondie getting donkey-punched and the brunette getting a dirty Sanchez.
David Copperfield anyone? Or how about the Bizmark.
These 2 girls need a pearl necklace…
Cool. It looks like even ga-zillionaire child-actors aren’t immune to awkward yearbook photos (though, still much better than mine).
dear marykate and ashley i rilly rilly rilly liked you’re movie new york minite it was sooooo cool when you like told those cute boys you had like to go and all hahahaha lol! happy brithday i hope you have fun and eat lots and lots of cake your frend, jenny
What’s the difference? They’ve been legal in most states for two years now.
I would just like to say I would hit it while watching old tapes from that show they were on.
Wow, I’m so glad I found your site, Mary-Kate and Ashley. You girls are beautiful. I have been a big fan since “Full House”. Happy Birthday you two and good luck at NYU!
- Craig
someone already hit it on the head – the top one looks like a burnout and the other bitch looks like a $200 a night pro.
I wonder if they’d be into some ass to mouth kind of stuff?
I would with those two, but be seeing Athina Onassis on the side. Or maybe the other way around. Or even better yet, engaged with all three of them on a bed stuffed with $100 bills.
Hey Olsens,
Happy birthday. You two are so damn sexy. I got to NYU too. Maybe when you get here I can show you around the East Village, we could go by Karma and hit the hookah or see a show at CBs.
The one on top is Mary-Kate.
Nice of them to acquire eating disorders just before they’re old enough to pose nude.
GROSS! God, I can’t beleive you guys are posting such sick stuff on the twins site! Don’t listen to them, girls, I gots your back! Damage! Happy b-day!
You guys are as farked up as the trolls at Fark. My finger slipped, and you seem to think that’s a worse crime that the word ‘matriculate’ used incorrectly.
Brilliant. This site is even more stupid than Fark.com
Do you think they use each other as a mirror to do their hair?
There is definately some good soft core porn in their future.
This is hilarious…someone attempts in vain to be a grammar nazi and fails. hilarity ensues. Fark > j00
Cheers to fark.com
Why hasnt this site been farked like the twins are?
and seriously, whats up with people thinking they are good looking? They were on TV the other day on some show and they looked farkin gross. I like girls skinny, but when bones are showing its gross. Those skanks need to eat a pizza and not puke it up.
18… I don’t see the big deal. ;)
This page being farked is a lot more funny IMO.
Someone needs to off the necromancer that summoned these skeletal demons.
cheers from FARK
I matriculated in the toilet this morning.
Literate Person is not stupid, he’s just incompetent. I think that people are more amused by the irony of your misspelled attack on his vocabulary. (Did I spell irony right and use it correctly? Because I would feel like a farking idiot if I was being a high handed language whore and at the same time misspell my completely pretentious diatribe). Anyway, none of us are in a position to attack the other’s intelligence. We’re on an Olsen’s twins forum for God’s sake.
Hey Literate Person, maybe his finger slipped and he spelled matriculate instead of graduate.
somebody give them bitches a sammich, stat!
So what is the fascination with them. They aren’t particularly good looking.
“We’re on an Olsen’s twins forum for God’s sake. ”
i feel ashamed. fapfapfapfapfapfap aaaahhh much better.
I’d Hit it … with a Power Glove(tm)
i love mary kate and ashley. but yeah mary kate does look like a heroin addict.
does it matter if they are skanky or not? they are people that you grew up watching. it would be like boning your sister, without the incest nastiness.
Farked!!! and /.’ed!
fark sucks
Hey… if the twins were graduating and not matriculating, then how come they did it at a commencement ceremony? “Commencement” means “the act or process of bringing, or being brought, into existence”, and therefore (or should I say “ergo”?) they matriculated at their commencement, didn’t they?. (And BTW, since “nazi” is an acronym, it should be written as “NAZI” and not “nazi”. And why don’t we update the terminology anyway, and just call the Literate person a “Grammar Baathist” or a “Grammar Taliban”?)
This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Of course, they were going to NYU anyway. In New York, the age of consent is 17, so technically speaking they would have been legal to tap for the last 11.9 months.
Still, now the legal haze is clear. Lock and load, boys, spray your binaca and your Tommy Hilfiger cologne and prepare for the farkfest. Anyone got odds on both of them doing Playboy/Hustler/etc.?
Even More Literate Person, you are absolutely correct. A grammar nazi would certainly have spelled enroll correctly. They are, after all, meticulous facists. Misspelling is something a Baathist or a member of the Taliban would do.
They may be turning 18, but they have already turned ugly.
Ummm.. Fark rules.. and erm… fap fap fap.
Akbar says “It’s a trap!”
and.. Mustard Man would hit it and then declare “I saw a turtle!”
Ma-trickle from ma-pickle will schtickle to da keyboard.
Yes, they are too-young looking, overly-skinny, not that attractive, but I’ll tug to ‘em once. Why not? I got plenty of Kleenex.
All you narcissistic, self-absorbed wankers really get me. As if the Olsens would even give a rat’s patootie about your sorry existence on this planet – let alone care what you think about their looks! Go back to surfing your porn sites, and leave the Olsen’s alone. (Only in your dreams have you ever had a date with a chick as good looking as either twin.)
mary kate is the one with darker hair– for sure
Jesus christ, someone uses a big word and people have to jump his case. He used a big word, whoop – d – #$%&ing – do. Leave the man alone. You’re just mad cause you had to look it up.
Jenkins, were you getting a blumpkin at the time?
WOOT WOOT let’s get it FARKED up in here.
What is even funnier than all the misspellings and other imature behavior is that some people actually think the twins read this site, ha! Another comment, the twins are dumber than a box of rocks, have you ever heard them speak in any interviews?! They are like totally dumb or something…no to mention sub-par looks, compared with older, healthier looking women. Move on, nothing to see here
Since when is Nazi an acronym?
mary kate is on top. heehee.
Hey Fark Reader – of course the twins, who you call so totally dumb, don’t read this site. They’re too busy counting all their mega-millions. And you think that their looks are sub-par because they’re not “older”??? Well, how old were you when you were 18 – DUH! They’ll be suitably older when they get older. In the meantime, keep telling us about how dumb they are while they make pocket change out of more $$$ than you’ll ever earn in a lifetime!
Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, trap, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, Fark, oInk!
zoOOOooOooOooom! ping. ping. ping. wOwie?
Since when? Well, NAZI has been an acronym since the 1920′s or 30′s when the National Socialist German Worker’s Party (Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiter-Partei), founded in 1919, came to prominence, and finally rose to power under Hitler in 1933.
Stop this. Not one among you can write and not one among you has a thing to say.
[quote] Try to avoid sounding like a pretentious idiot [/quote]
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
dumbarse
Rumor has in our highschool,which both sisters goto, that ashley had a gangbang with two football players.
just thought you people should know, that they aren’t that sweet and innocent.
fie on you allitirrationally deprived infidels. i will consume your olsens and spank them with my undulating twins!
merry mary john kerry-carry kate-cate john-jon ashley-ashleigh roachclip
(dons tinfoil hat and masticates while confabulating about aliterating)
spondules I tells ya, it’s all the fault of spondules
mary-kate has the dark hair (on top), ashley is the blonde.
god i can’t believe i know that.
So, Liam… you KNOW to be true what you admit is a rumor. Well, I’ve heard some pretty pathetic rumors about you, so they must all be true, right? Besides, doin’ it with 2 foorball players isn’t a gang-bang – it’s a threesome! Trust me, I know the difference. ;-)
foorball
…All-on-her said “foorball”
..heh!
That’s right – FOORBALL players! Doin’ it with 2 football players might qualify as a gang-bang, but with 2 foorball players it’s definitely a 3-some.
Confucius say: now you just sounding foorish
but, thlanks for praying, Arana
Sclew you, Obritelate! (ror)
Btw, Alana, you seem to be somewhat of a player. Nothing proves that like….pictures. Ante up, girlfren’!
:)
(ror!)
Happy Birthday! These girls have a really bright future and I’m rooting for them. I can’t wait to see their next movie and I hope to meet them in person one day and maybe get an autograph!
I’ve got nuthin’ to prove to you, O.B.!
Do as your name implies and go stick yerself where the sun don’t shine! (Or close to there, anyway.) ror to u2
Alana, now that was just nasty. What ya doesn’t know is…I likes my womens nasty.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
Were we talking about the Olsens? (just trying to regain a moodicum of perspective). Is it just me or, does one see hints that they’ll both have that emaciated, Maria Shriver, look when they get old if they’re not chock-full of Botox at the time?
heh!
I said “moodicum”
wouldn’t touch that mess-up with condom wearing a mood ring!
Well, obliterate… you would probably likes me a whole lot.
BTW, would you prefer that the Olsens look like Ahnold? (If so, that tells me a LOT about you!)
They hardly look like monkeys at all anymore.
I think I’d fuck it hard. Really. Ass-to-mouth? Oh yeah!!
I still think in the middle of a press conference, a few years from now about another one of their shitty movies, satan is going to show up and say
“ok mary-kate, ashley, times up back in the pit”
and guys – who cares about grammar and spelling. The americans have already ruined the english language ;p
btw – linked here by FARK
Dear Suave Gay,
How would you know if their movies are shitty unless you’ve seen one? And if you’ve seen one, then you’ve already contributed $8.50 to their lifetime bundle of $$$. So rag on them all you want – YOU GO, GRRRRRRLZ!!!
BTW, the American’s haven’t ruined the English language anywhere near as badly as the English have ruined edible food!
Alana, thanks for bringing some smiles to an OB’s Friday night (that’s OB as in Old Bastard…though I choose not to say just how freakin’ old). You’ve made this thread much more fun for than expected. I’ve enjoyed your tittilation. Matrafact, I already knows I likes you “a whole lot.” :)
And, no, I have no interest in Ahnold, no matter how big his bulges are, nor were they are located. Like Conan the Barbarian, I prefer “the lamenting of the women.”
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
Was that a good enough lament for ya, OB?
And, jeeeez… the last time I brought smiles to a guy’s face on a Friday night I wasn’t using my ‘puter!!!
All I gots to say iz: If you get tittilated by a cyber-thread, YOU MUST BE PRETTY FREAKIN’ OLD!!!!
(ror)
Hey O.B. – I want you to know that I’ve been pulling your string all evening.
(I JUST COULDN’T RESIST!!!! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
Now don’t go getting the big head, Alana. Unless, of course, you like getting the big head…or giving it
string…(cyber-)thread…whatever unravels ya, sweetpea :)
it’s all good
Isn’t it always better to give than to receive, OB?
The lower one looks like the guy from Milli Vanilli. The one who lives.
I’ve got my cock in my pocket, and I’m cruisin down the old highway
Fark. Fark. Fark.
nfvklsdhjvhsdjv
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OK TERRIFIC!
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Any fucker who was counting down the days till the turned 18 is a closet pedophile. I bet you assholes would screw a 13-year old if she told you she was 18.
“Hi”
I don’t want to be *even more* of a grammar Nazi (what ever happened to Godwin’s law?), but you changed tense in your original post. In addition to that micro-blunder, you made use of a sentence fragment instead of a properly formed sentence. To just address the problem of tense:
“Because I would feel like a farking idiot if I was being a high handed language whore and at the same time misspell my completely pretentious diatribe”
should have read:
“Because I would feel like a farking idiot if I was being a high handed language whore and at the same time *misspelled* my completely pretentious diatribe”
There are larger conflicts at work here. Why is it that the legality of sexual congress takes precidence over the genuine morality of it all. Does one day change anything other than an arbitrary restriction put upon us by a overbearingly puritanical society and system of government?
What is wrong with having sex with someone who is 16 or 17? What if one is 18, 20, 30, 60? If we can try a 14 year old as an adult for murder, can we not find it reasonable to trust that 14 year old with the regulation of sexual behavior or, better yet, to vote?
“OK TERRIFIC” just made me so happy. I miss O&A.
Lumpter,
You don’t belong here. You belong with us. Somewhere else. Somewhere better and utopic. (Note: Use of sentence fragments constitutes “poetic license,” a mythological term used to ignore rules in favour of achieving a desired effect.) This forum is beneath you. Much like its contributors would like the Olsen twins to be. Please find your way to your own end of the gene pool, and stop swimming in these muddy waters.
Isn’t one of them anorexic? Perhaps the heroin addict?
Apologies if this has already been covered. Too many replies…so much apathy.
Funny how the discussion went from “Oh I think they’re hot!” to NAZI being an acronym, to them fucking footbal players back to “Oh I think they’re hot!”. I just love free speach! (Oh! and to those who do not like my english grammar, must I add that I am french???) Sorry!
Yummm…love eatin’ up that bandwidth.
Ok, $10 says they are doing Penthouse before they turn 25. Who’s in?
Nice. 2 girls that thousands of dick in hand boys cant touch. Who cares if they are 18, you will never get it anyway
need nude pics!
I don’t know who these girls are but I think they’re really ugly… look at the size of their heads, they’re huge!
They look like anorexic transvestites to me.
Whether or not these two have had sex with other individuals is of little to no importance. They have enjoyed a fruitful acting career early on in life and of course had to deal with all that comes with. I think that all of the people for who have commented here specifically about sex need to get up and live your own lives. In other words, stop pretending to live a life in which is not yours. Probably if you go into life yearning to sleep with every woman walking the planet you will find yourself with nothing at all to show for your sorry existence. I doubt any one is reading this due to the amount of time that has passed since the original post. To the Olsen twins who will never see this and probably know this already: Be happy with yourself and never listen to anything others tell you. Oh and Happy Birthday!
the olsen’s are ugly as fuck!
They should be shot for not having boobs, ass, decent face and such a horrible nose. (not to mention their ridiculously “I’m sexy smile”) PLEASEEEEEEEEE EAT SKANKS!
They’re hideous. they disgust me.
Don’t talk about my sisters!
test
ha ha – i love the olsenz